We have been a long roller coaster ride with Brogan and his heart. As many of you might remember we were basically told that we had 4 or 5 months with him when he was initially diagnosed…and we have definitely surpassed that…and I’m hoping we continue to do so for many more years. That being said the big guy still has the odd collapse/faint, even though we have followed everything that we are supposed to with him. And I’m the kind of person that wants all the answers. Last time I wrote about him we were at the point of thinking it was 2 separate conditions, but we were waiting for the cardiologist to get back to us to see what she thought about that theory. I finally got to speak with her. She said it’s really hard to confirm that, because there are a few other heart related issues that could be causing his collapses. She said she would like to do 2 more tests on him and is supposed to get back to me with the cost associated with them. I’m at the point now that I have to decide if I need to keep testing to try to get an answer, or if I just continue enjoying him and doing what we are doing and just let him live his life. Really the only reason I would like to have a definite answer is so that he could have dog friends again and be allowed to be off leash again. But at this point I’m not 100% sure that is worth it. He is doing well, he doesn’t seem to miss his dog friends as much (he does have a dog brother that fulfills the dog “friend” part) and he doesn’t seem to mind on leash walks, although I’m sure he would love some off leash time. It would be so much easier if he could talk. For so may reasons, but mostly so he could tell us what symptoms he feels and is having before he collapses. And also what he would like us to do. What would he choose if it were up to him. That is the really hard part with animals, we have to guess at what they are feeling…in every way.
It’s been a while since I have sat down to write anything. Initially I was sick and didn’t feel up to it, I felt like I had the never ending cold that sucked all the life out of me for over 2 months, and then the unthinkable happened and I didn’t know what I should say about it, if anything. Many of you heard about the awful tragedy that struck the Humboldt Broncos. And if you haven’t I’m not sure where you have been hiding, but a simple google search will catch you up on what happened, written by people much more qualified than I am to write about it. It was something that affected everyone. You couldn’t find a person who didn’t know someone, or knew someone who knew someone, or at a bare minimum was a hockey fan who understands how integral hockey is to small town Saskatchewan…really most communities in Canada understand how small the hockey community is. Now I can’t say I’m currently involved in anything to do with hockey personally (other than having a lot of friends and family with kids playing hockey), but that wasn’t always the case. When my husband and I were first dating that was how we spent most of our weekends, we were like most small town teenagers, we were at the hockey rink cheering on our home team. We travelled all over to watch them play. And many of our friends and family played higher level hockey. So the tragedy really hit home, as it did for everyone. It was a devastating event, but it also brought the world together. It was amazing to hear how much money was raised from so many countries for the Humboldt Broncos. The outpouring of support made me feel so proud to be part of our country. I can’t honestly say that most of the time, when we are bombarded by negativity. This was a horrible accident that brought the best out of everyone. It was great to see that we can all put our differences aside and pull together to support each other when we need to. It is something that no one will ever forget 💔 #Humboldtstrong
It also made me reflect on myself and my life. It’s so easy to focus on the negative and what is “wrong” with things around you. I am trying very hard to appreciate everything and focus on what makes me happy. I’m not saying the negative in my life has magically disappeared, but I’m trying not to let it consume my day. There are so many things in life that we take for granted. I’m trying not to do that anymore, I want to know that the last thing I said to someone was kind, and that if something happens to someone I love I will know that they knew I loved them and appreciated them in my life. I hope everyone takes the good out of this tragedy and makes the world a kinder happier place to be in.